I am so, so excited!

You know that I love Gǔ Jiàn and Xian Jiàn!

I love them so much!

I’ve just spent +£180.00 on the deluxe version of Gǔ Jiàn 2, the standard edition of Gǔ Jiàn 2, the art book for Gǔ Jiàn and a tiny little Xiàhóu Jǐn Xuān figurine!

It’s in Simplified Chinese (which I despise with the strength of ten million, trillion lifetimes lived in vain) – all of it! I can’t read the Chinese to in-put the pass code in my laptop either!

Can you believe that I knew that when I bought it!

Oh, but I was scouring the website each and every day so I know the day that it was first announced and I’ve been high with excitement ever since! I love Gǔ Jiàn!



There are so many images in this that I felt like my head was going to explode!

They included alternative designs for each of them! They included attire that you could unlock in the game!

I’m never going to run out of Cosplay ideas!

There was even one that looked like Xiǎo Lóng Nǚ!


Look at my deluxe box!

Look at it!

There’s a layer beneath as well with a scroll! There was a glossy black divider with the heroes and heroines on one side and writing on the other! There was a fabric poster with the opening scene all laid out!

The fabric is glossy too!

Xiàhóu Jǐn Xuān is in the red! Can you see him? Can you see him? Isn’t he just lovely?


The box!


Yes! They charged me £50.00 because customs stopped it! They stopped it and I was charged! Customs broke my lock too! They filed it so that it can’t close!

I do still love it!

Oh, and I’d love to show you Ā Ruǎn but someone posted a big sticker over her! I can only see a bit of her skirt!

*Grumble, grumble*

I suppose that leaves me with no choice but to show you my ugly mug, right?

Oh, well…


You are advised to wear sun glasses for protection against the hideous monstrocity about to invade your screen.


Do not pass this sentence without shielding your eyes.


I know. I’m podgy. My skin is terrible. My eyes are tiny. My face looks like plastic that’s been pulled and I have lopsided ears.

Fortunately, that is not a wig. My hair really is mid-way down my thigh so I definitely had enough to yank it up. Well, mum did the yanking.

Thank you, mummy.

I wanted to do a professional photography shoot. Well, at least have photographs from a location that a professional would be likely to choose.
Winter is not a friend of bare stomachs and arms. Winter is not a friend of podge either.

I don’t suppose that any of you are alive to have read that, however. I do admit, I am like Medusa in so much that I can kill when seen. I do apologise to your loved ones.

All Hallows Eve is the season for terrors and I thought that there was none quite so appropriate for evoking terror than myself.

I do thank you for reading my article.

In future I do hope to be less fearsome to behold.

Yours Truly,

(The) China Sorrows

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